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What I'm Reading
  • The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality
    The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality
    by Rachel Hills
  • The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life's Perfection
    The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life's Perfection
    by Michael A. Singer

Entries in sex blog (22)

Wednesday
Jan272016

Top 5 Dating Red Flags

Dating is often crazy. It can trigger our biggest insecurities and expose us to bizarre or confusing behavior in others. We all unwittingly have habits and patterns that can undermine our ability to find a good fit and to be able to date in a healthy way.

I'll be speaking at 6pm on February 10, 2016, at the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine (PCOM) in San Diego, about how to avoid pitfalls in dating. This will be a one hour interactive lecture with reflection and skill-building tips built in.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker

Friday
Dec112015

Sexual Anxiety

As a society, we are talking more openly about sex and sexuality, and there is increasing tolerance for sexual differences. However, the increasing public dialogue around sexual topics can lead both women and men to believe they are not keeping up with all the new sexual "expectations." A journalist in the UK for Marie Claire magazine, Caroline Corcoran, interviewed me for her piece about Sexual Anxiety, particularly about what makes women most insecure around sex.

 

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker

 

Tuesday
Feb172015

Top 5 Questions Women Ask a Sex Counselor

Sex is fun…and complicated! While there are a lot of biological components of sexuality, there are also a lot of social, mental and emotional aspects. These often get in the way of enjoying the pleasures of our bodies and the potential for deep connections with others. As a Relationship and Intimacy Counselor, I receive many questions from women about their sex lives; below are five of the most common questions I receive.

1. Am I normal? Is what we’re doing normal?

These questions come from a fear of being judged or not feeling good enough. There may be sexual statistical averages around activities and frequency and tastes, but what really matters is what you like and don’t like, and the same for your partner. You could be perfectly “average” and “normal,” but still have a miserable sex life! Each individual and couple needs to create their own “normal” based on their preferences, needs and desires.

2. Why don’t I feel desire any more? How can I feel passion again?

It is really common for women in long-term relationships to lose their desire. Desire is a tricky thing that we tend to take for granted in the early stages of a relationship. But once those neurochemicals wear off, most women and couples don’t know what to do. The first step is to redefine desire from something that happens to you, to something that you can cultivate. What primes your pump? By this I mean, what can your partner do that helps you feel open to being sexual? Is it doing the dishes for you, massaging your shoulders, or having an eye-to-eye conversation? Focus on what makes you feel loved and nurtured and also makes your partner seem appealing. The second thing you can do is to take responsibility for your own desire. What puts you in the mood, such as reading erotica, fantasizing, or touching yourself? Do these things regularly to kick-start your libido.

3. How can I request my sexual needs without feeling embarrassed?

Read the rest of this blog that I wrote for the Softcup Blog HERE.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sex Speaker, Sociologist

Thursday
Feb122015

Why Couples Need to Have Date Nights!

If intimacy or quality time are not happening on their own in your relationship, then you need to make them happen!

Two cool therapists in Phoenix interviewed me for this new podcast show, Mission: Date Night. We were so in alignment with our perspectives on intimacy, gender, relationships, and sex - it was a lovely conversation. I shared my perspectives on what I think are ingredients for an amazing relationship (can you guess?), how and why to create the opportunity for intimacy through date nights, and I even shared what I consider my perfect date (can you guess this one too??). You can listen to the podcast interview and discussion below:

Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, National Public Speaker

Thursday
Jan222015

How to keep up with...free videos, naughty photo scavenger hunts, and sex questions!

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~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, and Sex Speaker