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  • The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality
    The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality
    by Rachel Hills
  • The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life's Perfection
    The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life's Perfection
    by Michael A. Singer

Entries in sex goals (2)

Friday
Jan152016

Better Sex & Relationships in 2016

There is a right and wrong way to set goals for the new year. The right way involves being clear about what is and what is not working for you, where you'd like to be, what's getting in the way, and then creating structure and accountability. It also involves taking baby steps, instead of huge leaps, so that your changes are sustainable (even though they may feel small). 

If you'd like to some ideas about what might help add some spark to your relationship or sex life in 2016, check out this interview I did on San Diego Living.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sexuality Speaker

Tuesday
Jan222013

New Year: Change Your Relationship

From: http://www.salon.com/2012/01/04/the_sexual_resolution/It’s a few weeks into the new year – have your resolutions already fallen by the wayside? Did you swear off fatty foods, cigarettes, and excessive drinking, or commit yourself to lose weight, eat healthier, and keep a budget, only to find yourself slipping into old habits? These are all worthy intentions for the new year, but I think a different approach, especially when applied to improving sex and relationships, can keep you on track this whole year long.

Choose one relationship or sexual improvement goal this year, and continually work towards developing that. For example, do you and your partner struggle when it comes to communication? If so, each month create a small plan about how you’re going to work on that. Perhaps you could start in January with each writing a list of your needs, irritations, and resentments and kindly discuss them with each other. Then in February you can each choose two needs and present a plan on how they could be better met in your relationship. Each month you can add on a new component or communication mode. There’s no right or wrong way to do this; just keep plugging along.

Of if your goal for the year is to learn more about your sexual pleasure, desire, and arousal, choose a different aspect of this to explore each month. You could start with reading through Amazon reviews on books about sexual pleasure, and find one that piques your interest. Next month you could take a class, have a vulnerable conversation with a friend, purchase a new sexual toy, try a lubricant, etc. Anything that builds towards your big picture goal of sexual pleasure knowledge.

One of the most important ways to stay true to your new year’s goals is to have a plan and review it regularly for sustainability and accountability. Set your phone alarm for every Sunday evening as a reminder to review your intention and reflect on whether you’ve taken steps towards or away from that. Then write down ideas for that week of how you’re going to take a step in the right direction. Intentions are a work in progress, so continue to identify what works and what doesn’t for you, and apply that feedback to create success.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sociologist, Sex Therapist, Sexuality Speaker, Sexologist